I’m okay, you’re okay … I think

I’m convinced that he must be an escaped convict. Or he just robbed a bank. Or he’s upper management. Either way, he’s a bad seed, that much is for sure. My anger builds, and as he races around me to pass, I’m certain I’ll see him on "America’s Most Wanted."

Meanwhile, a 72-year-old man on new blood pressure medication that makes him have to "go" more often than he thought the laws of physics allowed, drives behind a pickup truck driven by a bearded man who keeps looking out at the cows and doesn’t seem to realize he’s been driving five miles under the speed limit for the last 10 minutes.

"Go!" the man screams as he fights a battle with his bladder. "Quit looking at the darned cows!"

Unable to stand it anymore, he finally passes the bearded man.

• • •

The other day I’m in the mall leaving J.C. Penney’s, having just decided that I really should stick with going to thrift stores for all my apparel needs. Anyway, a guy at the other end of the mall walking toward Penney’s keeps glancing at me as we get closer. I try to look away, but my eyes keep darting over at him, and every time they do, I see his eyes darting over at me. The closer we get, the more we dart. Once when he looks at me, he kind of grimaces. You know the look; it was as if he wasn’t quite sure if I was the guy who 20 years ago stole his girlfriend, but he’d better give me a look, just in case.

I began to wonder, what’s wrong with me? Do I look so strange? Is my hair performing the third act of Hamlet? Why do people always look at me funny? Am I some sort of freak?! All I want is to belong! I know I’m a geek, a nerd, a weirdo, a sociopath, a reporter, but does that make me a bad person? I’M NOT AN ANIMAL!!!

Meanwhile, an anonymous man walking across the mall notices that a bearded man walking in his direction keeps glancing at him. As the two get closer and closer, he directs his thoughts on one thing and one thing only: "Boy, I could really use some Tums."

• • •

It was right after the Los Angeles riots following the Rodney King verdict. Racial relations were on a razor’s edge. I had just interviewed a black Christian Brother who was more than a little peeved. It was weighing heavily on my mind that afternoon as I walked in downtown Denver. On a deserted sidewalk there suddenly appeared a very large African American man coming toward me.

I didn’t feel any fear, but my anxiety level shot into the stratosphere. I hadn’t realized how immense that wall of racial unrest separating black from white, me from him, had become until that moment. It was very uncomfortable.

I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can’t help it. One day when I was worried because my dog developed a bad cough, a lady walked by me and I heard her say to her friend, "I don’t know how I know this, but that guy’s worried about his dog." Her friend said, "Yes. He’s worried about its … cough? Yes. A cough."

Back to that day in Denver: the big guy walking down the sidewalk suddenly notices a bearded white guy coming around the corner. He notices how the white guy’s eyes are opened wider than he thought physically possible. And his nose is flaring uncontrollably, and his mouth is twitching, almost like he’s trying to stifle a yawn. Yet, the African American man knows in his heart of hearts – he knows deep down in his very soul — that indeed, the white man isn’t stifling a yawn. No, my friends. Knowing what has to be done, the man offers the white guy a friendly smile, and a wall built by rage and racism comes crashing down.

• • •

Matthew 7:1 tells us all about the problems with judging others. In a later chapter, he writes: "Don’t assume that others may be judging you, for therein lies self-doubt, depression, and high calorie intake. Assume only one thing, and that is that God loves you. For in that love you will find inner peace that cannot be defeated by people in the market who give you funny looks, or bad chariot drivers who nearly run you off the road. God loves you. Stand firm in that fact wherever you go, whatever you do. God loves you. I mean, c’mon! How many times do I have to say it? And always remember, a grimace lodged in your direction may only be indigestion."