A ‘look back’ at 2005

When Schwartzenegger’s bill narrowly passed in March, Russia’s Vladimir Putin immediately announced his bid for the 2008 U.S. presidency. Meanwhile, Colin Powell announced that he too would be running for president in 2008, followed by a press release issued by his wife, saying, "That’s what he thinks."

Despite continued pleas for Donald Rumsfeld’s resignation, President Bush in February awarded him the Congressional Medal of Peace and a six-pack of Budweiser for his efforts to quell a small uprising at a Duckwalls store in Kinsley.

In one of his more blatant verbal faux pas, Bush told a reporter that he was "pro-life." When pressed on the "pro-life" issue, the president said that what he meant was that he was "pro pre-born life. After that it’s survival of the richest."

To pull the United States from its multi-trillion dollar deficit, the U.S. government enacted several laws in 2005, including increasing the minimum age requirement to receive social security benefits to 92.

In April, the president held an historic 22-hour meeting with his cabinet in an effort to balance the budget. It was later revealed by an unnamed source that they had spent the entire time filling out Publisher’s Clearinghouse forms, as well as a few Fritolay vacation sweepstakes coupons, just in case.

On the bright side, more Americans went to work in 2005 thanks largely to a rising economy in Taiwan that resulted in jobs being outsourced to the United States.

On the local level, in order to conserve water, Dodge City commissioners in August passed regulations requiring all newly-constructed homes to have outhouses. In order to conserve paper, toilet paper will be replaced with catalogues from small businesses closed due to super-department stores.

In June, the government relaxed all restrictions on deforestation after the president rode his bike into a tree while vacationing in Colorado.

Reality TV continued to devour the TV schedule with new programming, including ABC’s "The Mold Squad," which follows the growth of mold spores on a leftover bowl of refried beans. The program has already elicited excited murmurs from critics who said it "puts the ‘fun’ back in fungi." The program will air opposite NBC’s, "Who Wants To Marry a Third World Dictator," in which North Korea’s Kim Jung Il tries to find true love.

Sadly, the war in Iraq has continued to be waged at a terrible price to American and Iraqi lives. Despite the unwarranted premise for starting the war, the war wages on in all its vile intensity. But within it are pinpoints of light set aglow by the good soldiers, those of America and other nations, as well as the brave Iraqi citizens – those who fight not to destroy, but to save and rebuild.

And in India and surrounding countries, areas beset by unimaginable tragedy in 2004, good will has once again shown a light in the darkness, as Americans and people across the globe opened their hearts in abundance to reconstruct thousands of homes and lives.

God surely shares our sadness at the tragic events that have beset the world the last few years, but in tragedy there is that glorious light of hope created by those who love peace and yearn for good will throughout not just the new year, but for all eternity.