Three years ago, novice Juan Martinez, Jr., a native of Garden City where he attended St. Dominic School, professed temporary monastic vows as a Benedictine monk of Conception Abbey. There, with another novice, Andrew Broom, he stated this request to the assembly: "I seek the mercy of God and fellowship in this community."

Flashing forward to late last year, each novice had spent his triennial term being called by different names [Macario and Anselm], dressing in full black garb and living an orderly life centered on prayer and work. The two stood together in the Abbey Basilica and recounted a much graver intention this time in order to celebrate the Rite of Solemn, Perpetual Profession of Monastic Vows. Before their abbot, monks, family and friends, they said in union: "I seek to share in the sufferings of Christ in this community until death, that I may also share in his kingdom."

Despite a sleek and cheerful appearance, Brother Macario Martinez-Arjona, OSB, 29, has seen death as a theme in his life; it stems from one of the sayings of his namesake, Saint Macarius the Great, who counseled a would-be follower to "Become a dead man." The point of the aphorism was that a monk should react like a corpse–unmoved–to praise or insult. This monastic virtue of dispassion was a way of remaining centered on the Lord.

Brother Macario, however, may still be working on his patron’s ideal. It was apparent to all in attendance at his solemn profession that he was moved with strong emotions at the prayers and support shown to him by the monastic community.

"The kiss of peace sticks out in my mind," recalled Martinez, referring to the final part of the ritual in which each perpetually professed member of Conception Abbey came forward to show acceptance of him and Brother Anselm with a formal embrace. "I saw that these were my brothers now–they know my faults and they have to take care of me. That’s why there were tears, because I felt unworthy. But, I had to let go and accept that they would take care of me."

Being taken care of did not come naturally to the southwestern Kansas native. He is the youngest son of Mexican immigrants Juan and Rachel Martinez, who modeled a strong work ethic for their child. He was employed from the age of 11 and his mother used to brag that he was able to pay for all his clothes and school supplies. Martinez continued his industriousness in the monastery where he was a go-to monk for jobs that needed to be done competently and efficiently; whether it was using his Latin charm on tour groups, keeping accounts in order in the business office, cantoring or doing the near thankless job of cutting monks’ hair (just to name a few), he generously gave of his time to the community. So it may not be a surprise that being taken care of by his brother monks may have required "letting go."

Letting go in order to follow God’s will was the theme of Abbot Gregory’s admonition homily directed to Brothers Macario and Andrew [now "Anselm"]. This is what was required for permanent vows. "Our lives are neither real nor complete until they become what they are meant to be–a tool and a channel of the will of God," he told them. "Every time we pray the Our Father we say it, ‘Thy Will be done.’ Today, Brother Macario and Brother Anselm, you say that with your lives."

The abbot went on to speak of how this openness to the will of God required a death to self. He warned the monks this spiritual death was required often in order to experience the joy of Christ’s glory.

"Receive me, Lord, as you have promised, and I shall live; Let me not be disappointed in my request."

"The cross is the key which opened the gates of paradise; the cross is also the key to our life of consecration," said the abbot, who looked intently at the two young monks seated before him. "By losing your life, you save it; by offering it to God, you receive it back with more riches than anyone of us deserves…. You must know that, accept that, believe that, yes, embrace that, if you wish to make your commitment total and whole-hearted."

After an invitation to choose this way for life or freely leave, Brothers Macario and Anselm both willingly came forward to read from their handwritten vow documents pledging forever obedience, stability and fidelity to the monastic way of life (including poverty and chastity). The two monks then sang three times alternating with the senior monks in Latin:

"Receive me, Lord, as you have promised, and I shall live; Let me not be disappointed in my request."

When they finished, Martinez and Broom lay prostrate and were covered with a funeral pall as the church bells tolled to symbolize their mystical dying in order to rise in Christ.

Their prayers were then answered as the congregation invoked God’s blessing for the newly professed. Next the abbot chanted the Prayer of Consecration, a prayer that recalled with gratitude the work of God’s grace, beginning with creation and reaching completion in Christ. This prayer beseeched God to incorporate Brother Macario and Brother Anselm in the work of salvation.

At the conclusion of the consecration, the pall was removed and both monks arose to be clothed in the cuculla, the billowing choir garment worn over the ordinary Benedictine habit of hooded scapular and tunic in solemn liturgies. This is the outward sign of perpetual profession. The cuculla is supposed to contain 73 pleats to symbolize the number of chapters in The Rule of Saint Benedict. It makes known that they are full-fledged members of Conception Abbey, with rights and privileges such as being able to vote new members into the community or be appointed monastic superiors.

Several days after his solemn profession, a more casually dressed Brother Macario was finally able to have a bit of respite after long hours of entertaining his large family who were all present for the celebration. His jet-black hair was slicked back and he sat on a table top wearing a plain white T-shirt and shorts. In the middle of packing to go to theological studies at St. Meinrad Seminary in preparation for priesthood, he looked back on the journey his family took with him to the monastic life.

Three years ago there were tears in his parents’ eyes, but they were not necessarily tears of joy. "I would not say they were unsupportive, because they supported all of us kids in whatever we did," Martinez said. "They were just worried that I was going to do something that I really did not want to do and that I would be unhappy. All parents want their son to get married, all that. It’s a natural parental instinct to say, ‘No, you’re not ready to do this.’"

The Martinezes had to experience a sacrifice much like their son. Yet, just like Brother Macario, his parents began to see the "riches" of the monastery that Abbot Gregory spoke of in his homily.