JL: And we’re back. If you’re just joining us, we have as a very special guest in our studios: the Supreme Being, also known as Yahweh, Jehovah ...

God: You can call me "God." Everybody does.

JL: God, with Mother’s Day recently having been celebrated, and Father’s Day quickly approaching, I was wondering, why parents? Why not create, say, beings who reproduce asexually, thus eliminating the whole gender gap? No more first dates, no more broken hearts. You have to admit, it would have saved a lot of time.

God: I tried that. They’re called aphids. And I can tell you, they’re realllly moody little things. Let’s start at the beginning. Before the thought of "parenthood" ever crossed my mind – before even Adam and Eve — I had considered creating people in the image of asparagus, but then one day I was looking in a mirror and thought, "I’m really not a bad looking chap; Why not create them in my image?" Had I chosen the former, you would all be growing in a field somewhere and would taste great in butter sauce. But that’s beside the point.

JL: So, you decided to create sentient beings of opposing sexual orientations who would procreate to ensure survival of the species.

God: That’s correct, although it wasn’t until Adam and Eve were teenagers that I realized having a mom and dad around during those formative years might be a good thing. I mean, those kids could be unholy terrors, let me tell you. You think eating the apple was naughty? You should see what they did to my rose garden. And when they finally ate the apple? Yeah, like that was a big surprise. Had they had a mom or a dad around, they probably never would have been kicked out of the Garden of Eden. "You stay away from that fruit!" their mother would have shouted. "Do you want to be banished from paradise when your father gets home? Huh? Do you?"

JL: So, why didn’t Adam and Eve have parents in Eden?

God: And who would have been their parents’ parents? And their parents’ parents’ parents? And their parents’ parents’ parents’ parents’? I had to start somewhere.

JL: Now wait a second. With the existence of Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden, how do you explain cavemen — Neanderthals, Cro-Magnons, Homo-habilis — thousands of years of evolution leading up to human kind?

God: Practice.

JL: So, Adam and Eve were the first real humane beings – the first creatures with the capacity to bask in the knowledge that a Great Spirit existed, the Father of humanity, the creator of everything in existence. They were the first to look to the stars and know that it wasn’t just happenstance, that this grand design was fashioned by a powerful and loving God.

God: And they were the first to throw a dinner party. Unfortunately, for dessert they had apple crisp. Bad move. Baaaaad move.

JL: And what about dinosaurs? If there is some grand design, they must play a part. Tell me, what part do they play in creation?

God: Think about the mighty tyrannosaurus lumbering through the trees; the awesome pterodactyl blotting out the sun as it flits overhead. Or the more socially pleasant triceratops, getting a drink at a lake surrounded by rain forest, her young at her side.

JL: Yeah, so?

God: Cool, huh?

JL: You’re saying you created dinosaurs because they’re cool?

God: You’ve got a better reason?

JL: On that note, I believe we’re out of time. I’d like to thank our guest, the Almighty God, for being with us today. Thank you, God. Do you think you can come back for another visit sometime?

God: (Pauses for a moment) You can rest assured.