"The Church, strong in the holiness she receives from her Lord, should kneel before God and implore forgiveness for the past and present sins of her sons and daughters." – Pope John Paul II

It may have been bitterness caused after a church or parish school closed. It could have been a misunderstanding of Church law regarding marriage or divorce. It may have even been an overworked priest or sister who didn’t have time to discuss a problem.

Whatever the circumstances, they are instances that may leave wounds, wounds that cause people to discontinue attending Mass, leave the Catholic Church altogether, or simply to have a bitter feeling toward the Church even as they celebrate Mass.

"Embracing Your Memories," a four-session Lenten series, examined the pain some people may experience associated with the Catholic Church. It allowed participants to address that pain in a prayerful atmosphere.

After consulting with Father Ted Skalsky, the sessions were organized by Sister Rose Mary Stein, OP, pastoral minister at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Guadalupe, and a core team made up of Father John Maes, Dwight Green, Hattie Stein, Jean Schartz, Patty Tresner, Carol McQuiggan, and Dan Aistrup.

"I know people who don’t attend Mass because of how something a priest or sister said or did affected them when they were younger," Sister Rose Mary said. "Our mission is to provide a safe place where they will be listened to, respected and not judged."

Wounds may stem from anything from a parish or Catholic school being closed, to a new pastor who rejects someone’s ideas for the church or parish, or even to hurt feelings after an overworked priest didn’t have time to discuss a problem.

These wounds can steer people away from the Church, leaving them with a feeling of bitterness.

"Prior to Vatican II, the Church told you that everything was in black and white," said Schartz. "When we went out into the real world, we found there were a lot of grays. For example, parents may be concerned for their child who is going through a divorce, or who is leaving the Church to marry a non-Catholic."

According to Sister Rose Mary, "We tell them that a merciful God isn’t going to condemn them to hell. That relieved quite a few people. The changes made from Vatican II have been very comforting to our people."

"What really came out of the sessions was to pray," Schartz said. "Lots of times when we pray, we tell God what we want. Now we pray to be a better person. That leaves it up to God."

Approximately 20 people attended at least one of the two-hour meetings. The sessions open with prayer and a presentation by facilitator Hattie Stein, who is a professional trained counselor. Then a core group member offers a story, which is followed by discussion. The session concludes with prayer.

Sister Rose Mary said that some participants still were unsure about the Church, "but they came. They felt listened to and comforted. They felt at ease. We were there to open the door to God’s grace.

"We had people come from outside the Church," she added. "We also know that within our Church people carry hurt. We think these sessions could be an ongoing thing." Sister Rose Mary said that they hope to offer this program again during the next Lenten season.

"Lent is a time and a reminder of forgiveness," said Sister Rose Mary, who in June will be leaving for a six-month mission in Zambia. "If we are hurt or angry, this may be a way of letting go of it. People begin to recognize that they are not alone in their hurt."

One of the participants (all names are kept strictly confidential) said that he was fearful attending the first session, but then "felt accepted. The trust starts to build community, and this flows over to a larger community."

Another said that the "Holy Spirit has been with us in the group. … It touched our hearts, gave us hope."