‘Parents and Youth Ministers’
By Steve Polley
Director, Offices of Youth Ministry and Adult Education
I am writing this article between two major youth events for the diocese. Nov. 6-8 was our 24th TEC (Teens Encounter Christ) weekend, and Nov. 13 will be our annual junior high youth rally. When I schedule these things I always tell myself that I can handle it, but when I get in the middle of it, I ask myself, why did I decide to do back to back activities? However, God continues to guide me and give me direction that led to a marvelous TEC weekend, and a powerful experience awaits with the rally. God’s guidance continues to direct me as I write this column.
In preparation for a TEC weekend, the team who is working the TEC gathers for team meetings the Friday night before the TEC begins. We always encourage team members to come well rested, as throughout the weekend you do not get a lot of sleep. However for this particular TEC, I did not sleep very well that Friday night either. Thus, I had a lot of time to think, which began my process for writing this column.
As I lay awake that night, I began thinking about youth ministry and being a parent. Oh, how the two are so similar. Here we were preparing for a TEC weekend, a three-day experience focusing on Christ’s Paschal Mystery, hoping that through God’s will, our efforts would help each of these young people attending have a special encounter with our Risen Lord. Of course, as parents we long for the same thing. Through Baptism we are committed to being the first and foremost teachers of the faith. We long for our children to have a deep and meaningful personal relationship with Christ. We want them to encounter Christ daily.
So with my creative mind working overtime, I decided to share with you my top five list comparing this wonderful thing called youth ministry, to parenting.
Number 5 – We accept them where they are. Sometimes they blow us away with their maturity, other times we look at them and think, oh, how childish. But nevertheless, we continue to trust in God, always turning them over to His loving care.
Number 4 – We welcome them and their friends with open arms and love. No matter how discouraged we become, no matter how many times they test our patience, adding stress to our lives and many gray hairs, we do this.
Number 3 – We use "Tough Love!" Relating back to a previous column, there are times when we hold hands, other times we point fingers. Through tough love, we are pointing fingers, and challenging our young people to grow, mature, finding them in a deeper relationship with Christ. Tough love is hard, but oh, so powerful.
Number 2 – We all possess this wonderful thing called "Unconditional Love." Yes our kids challenge us, but no matter what, we love them unconditionally. As youth ministers our love of the youth runs just as deep. There is nothing that we will not do for our youth. We welcome them with open arms, and strive to love them with a Christ-like love.
And the Number 1 reason parents and youth ministers are the same: Who ever said that you need eight hours of sleep each night definitely was never a parent or youth minister. The reality of it all is that 4-5 hours a night is about average. Just enough for the sacrifices we are willing to make.
Parents, we have so many things in common. You love your children! All the adults who work with them love them as well. I believe very strongly that if we can continue to work together, sharing more deeply in the ministry to our youth, we can in greater ways, help build the Kingdom of God here on earth.
I again want to thank you for giving in the way you do. But most of all, I thank you for continuing to share your son and/or daughter with me. Over these years of ministry, they have added so much to my life. They have brought a warmth, joy and love to so many things. There have been so many times they have been Christ to me. Oh, how lucky I am!