Chew on this for a while

This is followed by a half a cup of Mylanta, two Tums and 15 to 45 minutes of gastro-intestinal distress.

One of the many things that I, and I think many others, take for granted living in the United States is the vast quantity and quality of food available to us. We take for granted that food is a great gift from God, and not from your neighborhood Wal-Mart.

We have markets in which every possible food is a checkout away. We have supermarkets so large that they occupy multiple time zones. I recall that in one store, when I asked for the produce section, I was advised that they were doing construction in the bakery section, so if I wanted to reach produce before the 5 p.m. rush, I’d best take the second exit from the paper goods aisle and catch the 4:15 p.m. to poultry. Once there, I’d be asked to solve the riddle of the Garbonzo Bean, acquire the Staff of Rah by defeating the evil overlord, and then, and only then, would I be able to enter produce and get my bananas.

As I scan store shelves, I’m amazed by the different kinds of food, some of which seem more suited to a biology lab shelf. Nearly every store I’ve visited has a section in the meat department that’s more like some kind of weird museum display. Sometimes I play "Guess that Meat." ("Hmmmm. It’s either tripe, squid, or someone spilled something.")

Other foods I see would make great bait, but I’ll be darned if I’m going to put it on a cracker.

I often read the ingredients of foods I buy. And just as often I ask myself, why is it that foods that advertise as being without certain chemical additives actually cost more? Seeking an answer, I telephoned Dr. Raymond Charlier, lead chemist for Boyson Foods.

"You see," he responded in a thick German accent, "ve had to hire an entire team of people with reeeeeeally little fingers."

"To take out the additives. I see. Thank you."

"You’re velcome."

In America, we celebrate food, but we don’t always appreciate it for the gift that it is. Who would have guessed that when the great Julia Child was fixing French chicken fricassee we would one day have an entire channel devoted to cooking shows? Nothing against them – I love the cooking shows. I find watching food sizzle somehow relaxes me. It’s like being at the ocean.

The only part I don’t like is when they eat what they’ve prepared. They shove the food in their mouth, give that same Cloud-9 look of pure fulfillment, and express how truly succulent it is. Meanwhile, I down another spoonful of Cocoa Puffs.

Then there are the commercials. I’ve never cared for the ones in which the food is animated and takes on human characteristics. They’re about to be eaten! Do they not feel pain? Doesn’t one chocolate chip cookie feel the loss when his buddy gets devoured? Are they all insane!? Are Fruit Roll-Ups really that happy to be Fruit Roll-Ups? If I were being chased by a lion and soon to be its main course, I would not be wearing a grin and singing a jingle. Or what about that weird "Slim Jim" antelope that runs around the convenience store until it’s caught and gobbled down? Does that commercial trouble anyone else?

As we watch these bizarre images -- as we see people on TV celebrating food for consumption’s sake -- it’s important to remember where that food came from (the Slim Jim is made with beef, Fruit Roll-Ups with fruit ... or construction paper. I’m not sure.).

I enjoy attending the farmers’ markets. Meeting the people who actually grew and/or canned the food I’m buying is a little humbling. Whether from a family garden or a farm, you can see the efforts drawn in the faces of the often older people selling the food. It makes both the buying and the eating much more personal. It gives you a glimpse of appreciation for where it came from. It gives you more of an understanding of the effort behind it.

Where ever you get your food – whether it be a turkey, three-bean salad, or a Three Musketeers Bar — it is a gift from God, and often the hands of the farmers who nurtured it. May we always remember just how lucky we are to be so abundantly blessed.

Have a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving!