Fear of failure

Thus, I am drawn back to a concept that I used frequently while I was teaching. Actually, up until recently I had placed this somewhere deep in my memory, but during a workshop I was helping with, it resurfaced. To me it was excellent timing, as it made me start thinking about my different ministries within the diocese.

The concept that I often shared with my students was the question, "Why do you study? Do you study because you want to succeed or is it a fear of failure?"

Depending on the student, I usually received different responses. But, my sense is that many of our young people study more because they fear failure, than because they actually want to succeed. No one wants to fail a test, or in sports, or in many other activities; no one likes to lose. So, we practice and do things to help us win. We are wanting to succeed, but too, we do not want to lose.

I share these thoughts because as we conclude the football season and begin winter activities, and as our young people move toward the end of another semester of school, soon to be preparing for final exams, we share this message with them. "Continue doing your best and working hard, but focus on the positive outcomes rather than the fear of failure."

This simple concept also carries over to our efforts with diocesan youth ministry. I wonder how many things I have done, or said that have been out of a fear of failure rather than a true desire to succeed? Has my prayer been focused in this direction as well? Yes, I believe that it is a fine line, but one that a person needs to be aware of.

A good example of this was our last TEC weekend. As I approached this weekend I knew that the dynamics of the experience were going to be different. So as I approached the weekend, my prayer was more about getting through the weekend. Finally early Saturday evening, the Holy Spirit got my attention and I realized that the energy of my prayer was going in the wrong direction. I was praying to get through the weekend, to not fail, when my prayer should have been that each young person would truly encounter our risen Lord in a new and special way. Funny, when I re-centered myself in this prayer, the dynamics of the weekend began to change.

So I end as I conclude most of my columns. If we continue to work together, remaining aware of the young people in our lives, and if we walk with them on their journey, we can help them focus on success and the presence of God in their daily lives.