Just what’s going on here, Lord?

"I’m sorry, the Lord is busy right now and cannot take your call."

"What?" I pray. "Who said that?"

"This is Angel Pettyguist, God’s press secretary. You are with the press?"

"Well, yeah, but . . . I’m praying for help, not for a quote."

"You submitted a question to God. I am God’s liaison to the press when he is otherwise occupied."

"What do you mean otherwise occupied? I thought God was omni . . . omni . . . ."

"Have you looked at the newspapers lately? He has quite a busy slate. You try being omni-present with his schedule."

"Yeah, but . . ."

"Think of God as the ultimate rescue ranger. When humankind and/or Mother Nature causes problems – and you may have noticed, there’s been a great deal of both lately — he’s there to offer his healing love, to warm you with his embrace."

"But what about —""Don’t worry, he still cares about your ‘tummy aches’ and your ‘aching back’ and whatever ailment of the week you happen to be complaining about."

"That’s not what I was going to say. And you don’t have to sound so sarcastic; I didn’t think they allowed sarcasm in heaven."

"Sorry. I’m under a lot of stress."

"Look, for the most part, we’re a pretty compassionate lot down here," I pray. "It pains us to see so many people suffering, whether in Iraq or in the deep south. I’m not asking why God allowed this to happen, but you can bet a lot of people who lost their home and families are."

"As for Mother Nature, if God stopped bad things from occurring, where would his involvement end? If God stopped bad things from happening, only about a third of your columns would have been published. Remember, heaven is what happens after you leave this earth. As for war, you’re a free people. You make your own bed."

"That’s not very comforting."

"Find comfort in knowing that God is always with you. Remember when God told Moses that his name was, ‘I Am?’ If you ever question God’s role in your life, just repeat to yourself, ‘Wherever I go, there I Am.’"

"That’s deep."

"God’s known for that."

"They say that everything works for the good for those who love the Lord," I pray. "What good can come from this terrible tragedy?"

"God was telling me yesterday that after people around the world saw and heard of the terrible conditions that the so-called ‘hurricane refugees’ endured, no one will ever think of a refugee camp, even in the farthest reaches of Africa, without a heightened level of compassion. People are responding. People are helping each other in ways never seen before, families opening their homes to strangers. Helping others is habit forming. Maybe out of all this horror – all the death and destruction – maybe there will start a new habit of compassion that will continue, maybe even strengthen, long after New Orleans is thriving again."

"Last question," I said. "Is God really so busy that he can’t talk to me?" "Of course not. God hears every word – every whisper, every thought. He just wants you to know that even though his voice may not ring in your ear like a thunderclap, it doesn’t mean he’s not telling you something. Even in the loud midst of tragedy you can hear his message, strong and clear. You only have to listen. And by the looks of it, many, many people are doing just that."