Story and Photos By Charlene Scott

Special to the Register

While on a public lecture tour in Tulsa recently, Gandhi recalled his childhood, telling how the Mahatma ("sage") influenced the life of his grandson after the boy was beaten twice in his native South Africa.

"I was only 10," said Gandhi, co-founder with his wife, Sunanda, of the M. K. Gandhi Institute for Non-Violence in Memphis. "I was beaten the first time by a gang of white teenagers who thought I was too black, and a few months later, I was beaten by black youths who thought I was too white."

The boy was filled with rage following the beatings in the country where his father, Manilal, had worked for years for non-violence, as had his grandfather, the Mahatma, early in his career.

"My nose was bleeding; I was black and blue," Gandhi remembered. "I wanted revenge. I started pumping iron to make myself stronger."

His parents were worried about their son, caught in the middle of the bitterness engendered among both blacks and whites by South Africa’s apartheid laws. They decided to send him to India to live with his renowned grandfather.

"We were reminded every day in South Africa of the color of our skin," said Gandhi, whose father served 14 years in South African jails for opposing apartheid. "It was fortunate I was taken to India at an age when I was still open to the ideals of my grandfather, but I wouldn’t say I was very wise at that age to appreciate everything he said.

"Grandfather had a way of teaching through personal experience and stories that stayed with you forever," added Gandhi. "When I grew up, everything began to make sense to me."

The fifth grandson of the Mahatma, Gandhi lived with his grandfather from the age of 12 to 14.

"Many of the things he taught me influenced me tremendously," Gandhi said, noting that he also was greatly affected by his grandmother, Kasturbai, who became the Mahatma’s child bride when they both were only 13.

"Grandfather came up with his philosophy of non-violence not because of the influence of his early life or because of Hinduism, because many people have gone through those same experiences and turned out to be violent people," Gandhi explained.

"He said in his autobiography that the first and most profound lesson he learned about non-violence was from my grandmother, his wife. This happened when they both were 13."

His grandfather was not sure how to behave as a new husband, Gandhi related.

"He said he did not know the rules. He went to the library and read lots of books — written by male chauvinists — which told how a man should make the rules. He then told my grandmother, ‘You will not stir out of this house without my permission,’" Gandhi said with a smile. "I would have been very angry, and said, ‘Who are you to tell me such things?’

"Grandmother heard him, but she didn’t retort or say anything at all. She got up the next day and continued to do what she always did without grand-father’s permission. He confronted her, and said, ‘How dare you defy me!’ Grandmother very quietly without anger said, ‘I believe the elders in this house are to be obeyed, and I will obey you if you don’t want me to obey your mother.’"

It was his grandmother’s example that helped the future Mahatma realize that "anger generates a lot of violence in our lives," Gandhi said. "My grandmother was patient, but she was dynamic and a very loving person. The amazing thing was that she was totally uneducated, and never had seen the inside of a school. Grandfather tried to teach her to read and write."

Gandhi recalled how his grandmother would give him many things that his grandfather did not want him to experience.

"I loved sweets," he said, "but grand-father’s idea was that I should not be obsessed with those kinds of goodies. Grandmother would slyly take me to her room and give me sweets, like all grandmothers do."

Kasturbai, a strikingly beautiful woman in her youth, died in prison in 1944 at a time when the Mahatma also was imprisoned after proposing the peaceful withdrawal of British power from India. The Mahatma was assassinated Jan. 30, 1948.

"Grandfather remembered the lesson he learned from my grandmother," said Gandhi, who, with his wife, has written a biography of Kasturbai. The author of several other books, Gandhi worked as a journalist for 30 years in India.

"When one resorts to anger, it results in violence, grandfather said," Gandhi added. "He also said he was willing to die for non-violence, but there was no cause for which he was willing to kill. I learned that same lesson."

A grandfather himself to three boys and a girl – and the father of a son and daughter – Gandhi said he has tried to teach his grandfather’s philosophy of non-violence to his own offspring.

"Grandfather said we must become the change that we wish to see," he recalled. "When I went to live with him, he suggested that I write an anger journal. He said, ‘Don’t pour out your anger on somebody, but write it down to find a solution, and commit yourself to that solution.’ I did this for many years, and it helped me considerably."

One day, the boy Gandhi threw away a three-inch pencil while walking home from school during the time he stayed with his grandfather.

"I was sure he would give me a new pencil," he said, "but grandfather gave me a flashlight and told me to go out and look for the pencil that evening. I must have spent two hours searching for it. Then grandfather said, ‘Sit here and learn two things. Even making a pencil uses natural resources. If you throw it away, that is violence against nature.’ The second thing he said was that people who are affluent and over-consume are violating other human beings."

Another time, the child Gandhi decided to test the Mahatma’s dedication to non-violence by rudely interrupting several of his political meetings with Indian and British leaders.

"I was 12 years old, and quite a bratty 12," he admitted. "I wanted Grandfather’s autograph, and I would rush in with my autograph book and throw it in front of him. He would press my head against his chest and put his hand on my head, but I don’t remember him ever shooing me out of the room. He never gave me the autograph either.

"We cannot remove hate with hate or violence with more violence, grandfather said. You get rid of violence with love and respect. Justice has come to mean revenge instead of reform — an eye for an eye – but grandfather said if you take an eye for an eye, everyone in the world will be blind."