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 CHRISM MASS 2019

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Call to Continuing Conversion and Rite of Election 2019

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May 19, 2019

May 5, 2019

April 21, 2019 Easter Sunday

 

 

    The Dead Sea Scrolls series

 

   St. Nicholas School, Kinsley, Advent Cantata, Dec. 7, 2008

 

   

 

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Suffering in silence

Thousands affected

by domestic violence

The problem is so well hidden that to hear of its prevalence is to shake your head in disbelief: One-fourth to one-third of all women are, or have been, a victim of domestic violence, according to Father Chuck Dahm.
    Father Dahm, pastor of St. Pius V Parish in Chicago, spoke at all Masses at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Guadalupe Oct. 4. The following day, he held three sessions on Domestic Violence at the cathedral; on Oct. 5, he held a session for priests. His presentations were co-sponsored by Catholic Social Service and the Family Crisis Center of Great Bend.
    “If there were 400 women at the Mass on Sunday,” he said, “then I was talking to at least 100 abused women.”

 
    Soon after being assigned to St. Pius V more than 20 years ago, Father Dahm developed a parish program for victims of domestic violence, and since then has focused on the destructive nature of aggression in the home. He and his team have counseled and acted as advocates for countless victims of domestic violence. While there are reports of men being abused by their spouse, this is rare, Father Dahm said. By far, most instances of abuse are against women by men.
    “Domestic violence exists in different forms of abuse, such as verbal, physical, sexual and economical,” he explained. “A lot of people don’t recognize that they are a victim because they’ve never been hit.”
    A woman can have bruises on her arms from being grabbed and thrown down, but if she isn’t struck, she may not perceive it as abuse. Psychological abuse can include anything from making fun of her, to excessive checking-up on the victim, to destroying her personal property, the latter of which Father Dahm said is “very common.”
    Economical abuse comes when the spouse refuses to allow her access to finances, prevents her from working, or even steals from her. Sexual abuse can include assault, harassment, or exploitation, such as forcing someone to watch pornography. Physical abuse ranges from physical restraint to murder.
    The statistics are frightening:
    • Every 15 seconds in the United States, a woman is beaten.
    • Annually, more than 4,000 men murder their wives.
    • At the same time approximately 58,000 U.S. soldiers were being killed in Vietnam, 54,000 women in the Unites States were killed by their partners.
    • Domestic violence results in more injuries that require medical attention than rape, accidents and muggings combined.
    • During pregnancy, 37 percent of women are physically abused.
    If it’s such a prevalent problem, then why the silence?
    According to Father Dahm, instances of abuse are often not reported due to shame, embarrassment, fear and denial. It also may be that the victim simply doesn’t know where to go, or that she fears losing the financial support for both her and her children.
    And many women, he said, believe that if they do one thing better, such as keep the house cleaned, or have the dinner ready when he arrives home, that the situation will improve.
    “They’ll just find something more petty,” Father Dahm said of the abuser. “If she’s silent [about the abuse], she isolates herself, and the more isolated the victim is, the more he is able to control her.”
    While he has counseled countless victims, Father Dahm said it is far more difficult to counsel the male partner: “Batterers are very resistant to counseling. Only about one out of 20 make any real effort to change. Frequently, if the woman leaves him, the man will find another victim.”
    The good news is that abusive behavior can be unlearned, Father Dahm explained. “Men give very powerful testimonies when their life has been turned around.”
    Of course, men must have a place to go for counseling to be treated. He suggested that men’s groups be formed on the model of Alcoholics Anonymous, where men who have faced similar situations, and are in different stages of healing, can give each other advice.
    “There is no such men’s group in Dodge City,” Father Dahm said, “which is a tragedy. There needs to be more services for batterers. He has to learn that he’s violent, and how to stop. What are we going to do with abusers in Dodge City? This is a real problem.”
    He admitted that part of the silence on the matter comes from the Church itself.
    “How many of you have heard a homily about domestic violence?” he asked, to which no hands were raised. But when he asked, “How many of you have heard a homily on the importance of marriage?” several arms went up. “I tell priests that for every sermon on marriage, they should present a sermon that nobody should live under subjugation.”
    He said that priests not only have to address the issue, but must be attentive to warning signs, both in the confessional, and with those they come into contact with each day. He said that the priority must be on saving the victim, not the marriage.
    “It’s the tendency of the Church to want to save the marriage,” Father Dahm said. “Just because there’s a permanent bond, does not mean you have to live in bondage.”
    Father Dahm suggested that each parish should “form a committee that will raise awareness of domestic violence. There should be signs telling people where to call if they are a victim of domestic violence. There should be informational cards placed in the women’s bathrooms. The parish staff should know about this and have training as to what the resources are.”
    Editor’s Note: For more information, go to dcdiocese.org/register. If you are in need of help, contact Catholic Social Service at 800-222-9383. Or, you can contact the Family Crisis Center in Great Bend at 866-792-1885 or 620-792-1885, in Garden City at 620-275-5911, in Dodge City at 620-225-6510, in Liberal at 620-624-8818 or in Ulysses at 888-229-8812 or 620-356-2608.

Past Issues

April 7, 2019

March 24, 2019

March 10, 2019

Feb. 24, 2019

Feb. 10, 2019

Jan. 27, 2019

Jan. 13, 2019

Dec. 23, 2018

Dec. 9, 2018

Nov. 25, 2018

Nov. 11, 2018

Oct. 28, 2018

Oct. 14, 2018

Sept. 16, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: 2018 Golf Classic; student athletes; physically challenged; Leonard Stegman; Lesson in forgiveness; Sending us on a mission

Sept. 2, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Priest crisis; Scandal; Opioid addictions; Seeds of Suicide; Leightons; St. Anne; Vincke; seminarians; Dominican Sisters; Stewardship Conference; Dead Sea Scrolls; PSR programs; Roe V. Wade

 

August 12, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Prayer and Action; Totus Tuus; Janee Bernal; Diana Ramirez; Heidy Ramirez; Bishop Gilmore honored for 20 years ministry; suicide; contraception and abortion; Dead Sea Scrolls; Humanae Vitae; certification in youth ministry; Chuck Weber; Cathedral rectory chapel; Sister Viola Heichelbech; Adam Urban

July 15, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Immigration Protest/Rally; Faith and Light Fiesta; Seeing the Dead Sea Scrolls; Corpus Christi procession; Prayers for priests; Sisters turn 100; Michael Brungardt; Gerald Vincke; Massacre in San Salvador; Action for Alex 

 

June 3, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Parish Pray for Priestly Vocations; Appeal reaches $10 million; Gangs; Seminarians; Pam Willis; Why I like being a priest; Happy Father's Day; Patricia Lujan; Tyler and Rachel Bennett; Adoption Protection Act.

May 20, 2018
KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Track meet; Beloved Sinners; Benjamin Martin retires; Smiles; Future of Fortune Telling; Hoisington mission; DofI; Getting Equipped; Spring Social; First Communion; Confirmation
KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Track meet; Beloved Sinners; Benjamin Martin retires; Smiles; Future of Fortune Telling; Hoisington mission; DofI; Getting Equipped; Spring Social; First Communion; Confirmation

May 6, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Archbishop Romero; Seeing, Touching, Tasting; Exhortation; Father Patrick Conroy; Happy Mother's Day; A child on your doorstep; Vibrant Ministries Grant; From the heart of a young father; Love Gives Life; Roman Holiday; Smartphone; retirement
Fossil Hunting

 

April 15, 2018

 KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Easter Vigil; Angelica Village; Colorado woman; The art of anger; Cimarron Couple; Staats; Adoption; 

Father Ultan Murphy anniversary; Coughlan; Spiritual Advisor to Hoodlums; Woman of Courage; Oration contest; Darcy Feist  

 

April 1, 2018

 

 KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Defending Adoption; Led by the Spirit; Knights; ABC Pregnancy Center;
Memorial of Mary; Homeless; Relics; Down syndrome abortion; Chrism Mass

 

March 18, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: SKYAC; Aleksandr Men; Fasting for Priestly Vocations; Uganda; School for deaf; Rannah Evetts; Oberle; Rachel and Doug Trombley; Oscar Romero; Paul VI; DACA

 

 

March 4, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Fasting for priestly vocations; Father Juan; Fasting and prayer;
Quest Weekend 2018; DACA; With God, anything is possible; Homelessness in our communities; Rhubarb, Kansas;
What's the point of fasting; Rite of Election; same-sex couples

 

Feb. 18, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Catholic Schools Week; Rachel Doll; Ellinwood; Great Bend; Garden City; Ness City; Dodge City; Sister Rita Schwarzenberger; Nigeria; Bishop Hermes; Fasting for Priestly Vocations; World Day for Consecrated Life; 50th Anniversary St. Dominic School; What will life be like in 50 years?

 

 

Feb. 4, 2018

 

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: March for Life; Tracy and Ross Smith; Adoption; Vibrant Ministries; Faith and Light;
Pro-Life; Mortal sin to discard elderly; DACA; Abortion; Dreamers; Human Trafficking

 

Jan. 21, 2018

 KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Louise Korbe; Anne Frank; Miep Gies; Home Heat; Father Solanus

 

Jan. 7, 2018

KEYWORDS, PHRASES: Good news and kingdom living; dreamers; Sister Teresa Orozco; Infant Adoption; Elderly; a moral conundrum; seminarian; feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe

 

 

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